But if I put my thumbs in my ears, I can't breathe!
Jeane at PPE training.
|
We will now introduce you to the concept of "Safe Paramedic" which is similar to "Safe Sex".
The paramedic on the left will have unprotected patient contact, while the
one on the right will have protected patient contact. He just will not be
able to feel that he has contacted the patient.
Steve and Jamie Renfroe at PPE
|
 |
Tessie, I think "R" means
"Rocket", not "Reverse"
Tessie and Rhonda in SPEC-OPS training on the Gator. (with a
little photo editing) |
|
|
 |
I can't believe I aaate the whoooole thing!
- David at 2001 EMS Symposium |
|
 |
Come on! Put your back into it! What kinds of EMT's
are you, can't even pick up an orange with a spoon. How you think you
going to stick an arm with a needle if you ain't more co-ordinated than
that!
Shirby to Arkelle and Matt, on the losing team at an inservice |
|
 |
| I am the anonymous EMS employee. I can work on any
shift, with anyone, and no one will ever know who I am. Ha Ha
Ha Ha |
|
 |
Listen up people! Travis has arrived!
Let all your fears and anxieties go away.
Travis is in the Station!
And Travis ain't afraid of no paaa-tient!
Bring'em on! |
|
|
|
|
 |
Oooo, so smooth. Just like a bowling ball.
Ron and LaDonna |
|
 |
Could it be, the sweet sound of the pager,
calling, calling, calling for me? - Mike |
|
 |
| I don't care what it is. I'm ready for it! - Barrott |
|
 |
| Sorry, you will have to move along. All the parking spots inside the bar are taken! |
|
 |
| I don't know. Does the firefighter usually fall down the ladder feet first or head first? |
|
 |
| The triage card says this is a child. Obviously an attempt to confuse me with simple terms! - Ron |
|
| EMS Rule: Don't ever assume that you have seen someone do
the stupidest thing ever. Be assured that someone will come along soon and top it by far. |
|
|
|
|
 |
You put your right foot in
You take your right foot out
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey, and you shake it all about
Thats what its all about! |
|
| Arrive on scene to find elderly female seizing violently. While starting care for the patient, I ask the family:
"How long has this been going on?"
"She started flopping around like a chicken with its head cut off about ten minutes ago."
I ask, "Has she been in and out any", meaning of course, has she been having recurrent seizures.
"Naw. She has that arthritis, so she pretty much been in the house the
whole time. She can't go outside when she flops around like that
anyway, it scares the dogs."
|
|
Arrive on scene to find a man lying on ground at scene of a single vehicle wreck.
"Were you the driver?"
"Naw, I was asleep in the back seat. Jimmy was the
driver. I ain't never drove this."
"You were in a pick-up truck. There is no back seat. You must have been in the bed of the truck."
Look of amazement comes to his face.
"No wonder those windows wouldn't roll up!" |
|
Pull up on scene of accident that happened basically in front of us. Check everyone out.
Driver of car," This just happened. How in the world did you get here so quick?"
Me with a smile, "Our dispatchers used to work for the psychic friends network."
Driver," OH, thats how that works." |
|
| We used to have a regular patient, a very obese lady
with a lot of medical problems. In spite of her problems, she was
always very pleasant to deal with. She always had to have two units
respond, to have enough manpower to handle her loading into the unit.
We went to get her one day, and I had a new partner, who was a rather
petite young lady. When we arrived, the patient looked at my partner.
"Miss, I don't mean to imply anything, but I think y'all better call back and get a man to help pick me up."
"Ma,am, I am perfectly able to handle my part of the stretcher when the other unit gets here."
Smiling and showing her teeth, patient says, "Sorry honey, I just
meant as small as you are, I might accidentally pick you up and
start gnawing on you without meaning to."
|
|
|
